♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦← Life As It Is →♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦
Here. Still need a full-time job. Still fixing computers whenever they come in. Still playing WoW (The Hallowed, anyone?) and still with my squishy Dylan.

You know you've eaten too much Halloween candy when you start craving healthy food.

Oh, and one more thing. I still miss talking to you. You know who you are. You'd think by now I wouldn't give a damn anymore, but for some reason I do. It's honestly a little confusing.

Meh.

Schuyler introduced me to Anberlin last week, and I've gotten addicted to one of their more morbid songs.

♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦← Miserable Visu (Ex Malo Bonum →♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦
A red priest broke into our classroom
Caught us children by attention
"Listen closely to the words I speak
Lord knows if we'll ever, ever again meet"

Spoke such words never spoken before
On the way he declared there were
Miracles like you've never seen
From a man who was raised up in the sea

A man is coming in thirteen-one
To charm the daughters and the sons
Scared for our lives, I turned to your hand
Hold this tight while we run, if we still can

What disasters may come
Whatever it may be
At the end of the age
It will land you and me
What tragedy may bring
Whatever may fall
The end of the world
You'll still belong

Before the red priest took his last breath
He told me, "Child, now don't forget
The sun will turn dark very soon
Your days are numbered when there's blood on the moon

"The earth will shake and the sky will fall
The eyes will open of those involved
Don't take this son, but you'll be killed
By the man from seven hills"

A man is coming in thirteen-one
To charm the daughters and the sons
Scared for our lives, I turned to your hand
Hold this tight while we run, if we still can

What disasters may come
Whatever it may be
At the end of the age
It will land you and me
What tragedy may bring
Whatever may fall
At the end of the world
You'll still belong

Look children to the eastern sky
When you hear the voice say your last goodbyes
Look there to the eastern skies
When the ghosts take hold of the men who died
Look children to the eastern sky
When your fathers weep and your mothers cry
Look children to the eastern sky

What disasters may come
Whatever it may be
At the end of the age
It will land you and me
What tragedy may bring
Whatever may fall
At the end of the world
You'll still belong

Look children to the eastern sky
When you hear the voice say your last goodbyes
Look there to the eastern skies
When the ghosts take hold of the men who died
Look children to the eastern sky
When your fathers weep and your mothers cry
Look children to the eastern sky
Look children to the eastern sky

♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦← Life As It Is →♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦
I am now eighteen years old. To express my feelings on the matter, I refer back to a conversation with my mother:

Mom: "Do you feel any older?"
Me: *looking down at my cake and the torn paper around me* "Actually, I feel about three right now."

My present was a deep fat fryer and ingredients to make crab rangoons. Dylan and I gorged ourselves on them, played Portal for a while and then curled up in bed, starting to feel a bit ill from all the day's oil and sugar. It was worth it, though.

So life is pretty good right now. I found the college I'm going to after I finish up my general eds and tech certifications here. Dylan says he's coming with me- he's nearly finished with his Associates degree and the school I picked out has a bundle of specified computer courses, including digital forensics.

We've been repairing computers for a local business (owned by a friend of ours) for a while now. It's decent pay, but it's not consistent enough to pay bills with. I need another job. Pizza Hut is hiring waitresses and I've been bugging the living hell out of the managers, so hopefully I'll have an interview soon.

♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦← Dreams →♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦
We talk about living away from this place, traveling, settling down in a more cultured area. Perhaps close to a big city; just far enough away that the taxes are lower and we can't hear the traffic. I want a falcon. He wants a bobcat mix. I want guns and an herb garden. He wants swords and a workshop. We both want ducklings and a functional catapult*.

Maybe we'll open our own store, own a sustainable home, and make money on the side fixing machines and selling crafts at renaissance faires. Maybe I'll be an investigator and he'll be a programmer.

Maybe we'll epic fail.

I don't know. We can go anywhere from here, do anything. I'm nervous, excited, but most of all, I'm curious.

* No, we will not use the adorable fuzzy ducklings as catapult fodder. Babies make a more satisfying squish sound.

♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦← Life As It Is →♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦
I'm bored. My Dylan is mowing his parents' lawn and I elected to stay home in order to avoid the generous invitations to help clean house, as I've been cleaning enough as it is. So here I am, typing a journal.

I've been working at the local library for the summer, and am putting in applications around town for a job that allows my school schedule. Yay for work and moolah, right? Hopefully I'll be able to afford a car with Dylan by the end of this year. I've got a good amount saved up already, he may be getting a raise, and we know of people selling cheap cars, so it shouldn't be so difficult.

I doodle when I'm not working. I want to get out my prismacolor pencils this week. I miss the little buggers. They allow me to- oooo! Must... draw... shiny... object...

Speaking of artsy things, my little Kodak Easyshare is falling apart. It suffered a trip to Colorado with Dylan's family and simply couldn't endure my exorbitant taking of mountain shots, flipping out the SD card and sending the pics to mom. The doors are falling off, it has abandoned all care for quality, and rejects every battery known to man.

It is officially throwing a temper tantraum.

So I've upgraded to a new fragile device which is sure to experience the same injustices. However, I am prepared(ish)! I bought an extended warranty in hopes of better protecting it from me. Or at least replacing it if I suffer an act of gravity, theft, or factory malfunction.

You ever wonder how it would work if people came with the same option? Obesity, Murder, genetic disease- all covered. All replaced. But what's the fun in that?

♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦← To Do List/Points of Interest →♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦

I just noticed the new use page display- so far I think it's pretty sweet. Keep up the good work, DA!

Anyone know of any good schools in the American midwest that offer degrees in computer forensics, but aren't totally online? *has been looking for a long time*

An Irish doctor ninja with a gorilla secretary. It doesn't get much better than that.

The rest of this journal is a mix of mush and cynicism, so refrain from it if you don't want to hear all the "real life" jazz.

♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦← Life →♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦☼♦

So, things have been pretty laid back. School is going well, and I have a boyfriend. This'll make the second one I've ever had? Yes, I am picky. But it's working out. We've only been together for two and a half months, but... he's an absolute sweetheart, cuddly, attentive, smart, the whole nine yards complete with a wry sense of humor that rivals my own. I've yet to have complaints, and want for nothing. I know. It's bad. Hush.

I believe I can now accurately describe what love is:

It's like being a moth buzzing around the Lightbulb of Awesome and Dee Dee Dee. You know that the light will turn you into a love-struck gabby little retard that doodles the sort of love notes you see carved into trees and the wrists of emos, but you can't seem to resist how perfect and shiny it is. You fling yourself into it happily, uncaring towards the potential pain, long trips down to the floor, and loss of honor. To make the whole situation that much more masochistic, you not only do you do this to yourself willingly, but you enjoy every minute of it.

...I'm going to comfort myself with the knowledge that humans are naturally this mad.


Comfort the disturbed. Disturb the comfortable.


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